Literally Just 26 Really Funny Tweets From Mark Hoppus

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1.

For lent, I'm giving up.

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552840

2.

I love you, but not "look up from my phone" love you.

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10553048

3.

[to the tune of the Hot Pockets jingle]
"🎤Mark Hoppus🎤"

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10553029

4.

If we allow a female to become president, what's next? Female doctors? Female race car drivers? Female mothers?! Female women?!

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552718

5.

Here's the thing about stuff: Hell. No.

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552797

6.

THIS IS NOT A PHASE, MOM!!!

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552752

8.

HOW DOES CHEWBACCA KNOW WHERE TO STOP SHAVING HIS PUBIC HAIR?!

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552845

9.

Goal for today: make fetch happen.

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552883

10.

ten minutes into blink-182 and chill and he gives you this look.

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552847

11.

frozen 2: frozen af

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552884

12.

You can have my hands when you pry them from my cold, dead wrists.

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552886

13.

Girl at the rock show: What?
Me: ¯_(ツ)_/¯

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552742

14.

It's getting less and less likely that in my life I will have the opportunity to vomit into an active volcano.

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552887

15.

Don't fuck with someone taking a photo with their iPad because they're already at rock bottom and have nothing left to lose.

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552889

16.

Don't waste
Your time
On me
You're all sweaty
And gross inside my bed

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552800

17.

Here’s my brother Gene who we haven’t seen in years since he moved away we miss you call me 📞

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552976

18.

Hi I'm Mark. My wife is shopping and I'm standing here trying not to look like an asshole and it's not working.

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10553006

19.

[leaves you on *read* for three hours]

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10553019

20.

Someone a few houses over is having a party. I can hear the music and laughter and people enjoying themselves. I'm calling the damn cops.

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10553021

21.

[logging into twitter 2012]: Do you have any updog?
[logging into twitter 2017]: Does our beloved republic still stand?

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10553022

22.

The clown emoji is worse than when my parents got divorced.

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10553032

23.

if i ever die please make sure my funeral has a fire snapchat filter.

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10553039

24.

For Halloween I'm going as "Dractually," a mansplaining vampire.
⚰️

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10553053

25.

woman behind me at this restaurant is laughing saying she never orders french fries but always eats her boyfriend's and i'm boiling w rage.

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10553091

26.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Garlic bread
blink-182

— Mark Hoppus (@markhoppus)

ID: 10552739

Thumbnail image: Getty / Alberto E. Rodriguez

ID: 10553236

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